Bullying is often associated with childhood and adolescence, but the reality is that it can and does extend into adulthood. Adult bullying can occur in various settings, including the workplace, at home, and online. This comprehensive blog post explores the nature of adult bullying, provides expert opinions, shares real people's experiences, and offers strategies for handling bullying in different environments. Supported by research and linked references, this post aims to provide a thorough understanding of adult bullying and practical solutions for those affected by it.
Understanding Adult Bullying
Defining Adult Bullying
Adult bullying involves repeated, intentional actions aimed at causing physical, emotional, or psychological harm to another adult. It can manifest in various forms, including verbal abuse, social exclusion, spreading rumors, and cyberbullying. Unlike childhood bullying, adult bullying is often more subtle and can be harder to recognize.
Types of Adult Bullying
Workplace Bullying
Examples: Harassment by a supervisor, exclusion from important meetings, constant criticism, and undermining of work performance.
Domestic Bullying
Examples: Emotional abuse by a partner or family member, controlling behavior, and manipulation. Cyberbullying
Examples: Online harassment, doxing, spreading malicious rumors on social media, and cyberstalking.
Expert Opinions on Adult Bullying
Dr. Gary Namie - Workplace Bullying Institute
Dr. Gary Namie, co-founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute, defines workplace bullying as "repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons by one or more perpetrators." According to Namie, workplace bullying can have severe consequences on an individual's mental health and job performance.
Dr. Sherri Gordon - Psychology Today
Dr. Sherri Gordon, a renowned psychologist, emphasizes that adult bullying can be just as damaging as childhood bullying. She highlights the importance of recognizing the signs of bullying and seeking support to address it effectively.
Real People's Experiences and How They Dealt with It
Sarah's Story: Overcoming Workplace Bullying
Sarah, a marketing executive, experienced bullying from her supervisor, who constantly undermined her work and excluded her from key projects. Feeling isolated and stressed, Sarah sought advice from a mentor who encouraged her to document the incidents and speak to HR. With evidence in hand, Sarah approached HR, who took her complaint seriously and intervened. The supervisor was eventually removed from their position, and Sarah found support through counseling to rebuild her confidence.
David's Story: Handling Domestic Bullying
David, a graphic designer, faced emotional abuse from his partner, who constantly belittled him and controlled his actions. Recognizing the toxic nature of the relationship, David confided in a close friend who helped him see the need for change. David sought legal advice and found support through a local domestic abuse organization. With their help, he safely left the relationship and began therapy to heal and regain his independence.
Emily's Story: Confronting Cyberbullying
Emily, a freelance writer, became the target of online harassment after publishing a controversial article. Anonymous users flooded her social media accounts with threats and abusive comments. Emily reported the harassment to the social media platforms and sought advice from a digital security expert. She also reached out to her professional network for support. With their help, she increased her online security measures and took legal action against the worst offenders.
Research on Adult Bullying
1. Workplace Bullying Research
A study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology found that workplace bullying is associated with increased stress, anxiety, and depression among employees. The research highlights the need for organizational policies to address bullying and support affected employees.
2. Domestic Bullying Research
Research published in the Journal of Family Violence shows that domestic bullying can have long-term psychological effects, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The study emphasizes the importance of support services and legal protections for victims.
3. Cyberbullying Research
A study in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that adult victims of cyberbullying experience significant emotional distress, including depression and anxiety. The research underscores the need for stricter regulations on online harassment and better support for victims.
Handling Bullying at Work
Recognizing Workplace Bullying
Signs of workplace bullying include:
Being consistently criticized or ridiculed.
Exclusion from meetings or social events.
Having your work sabotaged or undermined.
Receiving threats or intimidation.
Strategies for Handling Workplace Bullying
Document Incidents
Keep a detailed record of bullying incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions of what happened. This documentation can be crucial when reporting the behavior to HR or management.
Seek Support
Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR representative about your experiences. They can provide advice and support, and help you navigate the situation.
Confront the Bully
If you feel safe, consider addressing the bully directly. Use assertive communication to express how their behavior is affecting you and request that it stop.
Report to HR
If the bullying persists, file a formal complaint with HR. Provide your documentation and be clear about the impact of the bullying on your work and well-being.
Legal Action
In severe cases, consider seeking legal advice. Workplace bullying can sometimes constitute harassment, and you may have legal recourse.
Handling Bullying at Home
Recognizing Domestic Bullying
Signs of domestic bullying include:
Being belittled or criticized constantly.
Experiencing controlling behavior, such as monitoring your activities or finances.
Being isolated from friends and family.
Receiving threats or intimidation.
Strategies for Handling Domestic Bullying
Seek Support
Confide in a trusted friend or family member about your experiences. They can provide emotional support and help you plan your next steps.
Create a Safety Plan
If you are in immediate danger, create a safety plan. Identify safe places you can go, keep important documents and essentials accessible, and have a list of emergency contacts.
Contact Support Services
Reach out to domestic abuse organizations for advice and support. They can provide resources, counseling, and assistance with legal matters.
Consider Legal Action
In cases of severe abuse, seek legal advice. You may be able to obtain a restraining order or take other legal actions to protect yourself.
Therapy and Counseling
Engage in therapy or counseling to address the emotional impact of the bullying. A mental health professional can help you rebuild your self-esteem and develop coping strategies.
Handling Cyberbullying
Recognizing Cyberbullying
Signs of cyberbullying include:
Receiving threatening or abusive messages.
Having personal information or photos shared without your consent.
Being the target of online rumors or gossip.
Experiencing doxing or cyberstalking.
Strategies for Handling Cyberbullying
Do Not Engage
Avoid responding to the bully. Engaging can escalate the situation and give the bully more power.
Document Evidence
Take screenshots and save messages or posts that constitute cyberbullying. This evidence can be crucial when reporting the behavior.
Report to Platforms
Report the cyberbullying to the social media platforms or websites where it occurred. Most platforms have policies against harassment and can take action against the offenders.
Increase Security
Enhance your online security by using strong passwords, enabling two-factor authentication, and adjusting your privacy settings.
Seek Legal Advice
In severe cases, consider seeking legal advice. Cyberbullying can sometimes constitute harassment or defamation, and you may have legal recourse.
Support Networks
Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for emotional support. Talking about your experiences can help you feel less isolated.
Conclusion
Bullying is not confined to the schoolyard; it can and does extend into adulthood, affecting individuals at work, at home, and online. Recognizing the signs of adult bullying and taking proactive steps to address it is crucial for maintaining mental health and well-being. Expert opinions, real-life experiences, and research all underscore the importance of addressing adult bullying with seriousness and determination.
By documenting incidents, seeking support, and utilizing available resources, individuals can effectively handle bullying in various settings. Whether it's confronting a workplace bully, leaving a toxic relationship, or combating cyberbullying, taking action is essential to reclaiming one's power and dignity.
Remember, you are not alone, and help is available. By fostering a culture of respect and support, we can collectively work towards eradicating bullying in all its forms.
References
Namie, G. (2020). Workplace Bullying Institute. Retrieved from Workplace Bullying Institute
Gordon, S. (2020). How to Deal with Adult Bullies. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Psychology Today
Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength. Penguin Press.
Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation: A 35-Year Odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705-717.
Duckworth, A. L. (2016). Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Scribner.
Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Avery.
Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow.
Journal of Occupational Health Psychology. (2017). Workplace Bullying and Employee Health.
Journal of Family Violence. (2019). Domestic Abuse and Psychological Impact.
Computers in Human Behavior. (2020). Cyberbullying and Emotional Distress.
